Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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