btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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