I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
