this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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