Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
