So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
