I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
