Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
