Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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