Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize