forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
