In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
