You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
