too bad you live with your parents still
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
