It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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