yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
