How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
