In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
