shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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