I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
