so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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