Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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