eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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