I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
