This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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