We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
