All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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