Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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