we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
