I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
