Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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