yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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