"it" just moved
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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