i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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