I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
