she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
