I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
