Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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