Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
