i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
