Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't deserve a penis
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
