Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize