It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
