last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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