We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
