how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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