why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
