Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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