so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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