I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
