wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
