you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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