Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
