people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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