can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
