Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
