There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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