I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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